The Nectar of Pain is a poetry book written by Najwa Zebian and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing in October of 2016. Take a look at some selected poems or quotes from the book.
To those who think that love is a game
I don’t play games. And I don’t play hard to get. I don’t keep you in suspense or fear that I will leave out of the blue. I don’t say what I don’t mean just to charm you. And I don’t keep you waiting just so you can think that I’m too busy for you or that I’m not always thinking of you. Because, if I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you, I don’t want to make you chase me. I’m tired of running. If I love you, you will take a front-row seat in my mind, because I respect your presence in my life as my companion. You will be my number-one priority, not because I’m weak or because I’m dependent on your love but because I’m a woman, not a girl.
Love is safe. Love is vulnerable. If you want someone who will make you run after her love, find her elsewhere. That never was and never will be me.
Page 50 of The Nectar of Pain
Gaslighting of the soul
They do everything to dim your light, and then they ask you why you’re not shining.
Page 104 of The Nectar of Pain
Your voice will roar one day
Your voice might feel faint now, perhaps an echo or even a whisper. Your wings might feel broken now, perhaps exhausted or too weak to fly. Your heart might hurt now, perhaps too sensitive or too fragile to feel. Your light might seem dim right now, perhaps trying to shine when it’s already light outside. And perhaps you will not believe me when I tell you, but I will tell you. Your voice will roar one day, and they will have to listen. Your wings will spread one day, and they will watch you fly higher. You will heal one day, and you will fly over the walls that they built in your face. Your light will strike through the sky one day, for you are the sun. And the sun rises every day.
Page 124 of The Nectar of Pain
Know who needs help
It’s simple. If they hurt you, they need help, not you.
Page 129 of The Nectar of Pain
As you heal from trauma, remember this
You are not what they did to you. You are not the pain that they caused you. You are a hero who endured the struggle.
I salute you.
Page 139 of The Nectar of Pain
Tell their voices
No. I am not what you say of me. No. I am what I do. Just like you are not what I say of you. No. You are what you do.
Page 146 of The Nectar of Pain
I will heal
I sincerely hope that your soul finds peace. You broke me, but it was only because you were broken. I will heal because I know that I need to, but I worry that you will never realize that you are in need of healing.
Page 155 of The Nectar of Pain
Empathy
May the pain of the hurt that they caused you stop you from hurting anyone else, because you know how the pain feels.
Page 166 of The Nectar of Pain
I will tell this to my daughter one day
You may charm them with your smile. You may catch their attention with your eyes. You may hypnotize them with your glow. A look from your eyes may be their goal. But if your heart is truly sincere, you will let go of all of this. You may ask why. Let me tell you. One day, your eyes will be a lot less piercing. One day, your glow will be colonized by wrinkles. Who will look at your heart then? Definitely not those who did not see it when your youth was at its best. Please do not let superficial attention fool you. Let true love seep through your soul, into your heart, past your outer shell.
Page 174 of The Nectar of Pain
If you ever think of revenge
I hope one day when the tables turn that I am no longer sitting at them. I have no interest in helping karma take its course, nor am I interested in treating them the way they treated me.
Page 207 of The Nectar of Pain
Why do you still believe them?
Just because they deny that they caused you pain, it does not mean that they didn’t.
Page 214 of The Nectar of Pain
You are a beautiful soul
You add to the beauty of this world just by being you.
Even by your imperfections and your flaws, by your up and down times, by your stresses and your fears. All that is different is unique. All that is unique is beautiful. Your soul is beautiful because it’s unique.
Page 225 of The Nectar of Pain
My address
Find me where kindness is. I dwell in the peace of heart that kindness is.
Page 229 of The Nectar of Pain
Lean into the discomfort
My heart tells me what I don’t want to hear. That is why I listen to it. What we want to hear is always safe and comfortable. It is not always the truth. So I’ve learned to listen to what makes me uncomfortable because I would rather listen to the truth by my own will than be forced to believe it after it hurts me.
Page 249 of The Nectar of Pain
Conditional Love
You were not addicted to their love. You were addicted to their pain. And when their pain left, their love for you left.
If their love for you depends on what you offer them, it’s not love. It’s abuse. You deserve to be loved for who you are, even when you are unable to give.
Page 250 of The Nectar of Pain
Be kind, because that is who you are
Do not allow the ignorance of others make you like them.
They are not you.
Page 251 of The Nectar of Pain
You are the sun
Drown me in darkness so that I may rise lightly with light.
Page 259 of The Nectar of Pain
When your abuser has you caged
It hurts when the one who broke your wings is the one with the electric wire. Every time you heal a little and try to fly again, they break you even harder. And every time you try to speak, they break your soul again even harder.
Your soul is a bird, love. Take a few steps away from the pain and fly away.
Page 262 of The Nectar of Pain
Wish them healing
I know that you want to see them hurt the way they hurt you. But, believe me, you are above that. For them to hurt you, they must have pain inside of them. They don’t need to be hurt. They need to be healed. I am not telling you that it’s fair for them to get away with hurting you. Just be the bigger, wiser, more understanding person. Don’t let them make you like them. Wish them healing. Wish them love. And walk away. Even if they chose to walk away first. They need to find their way. You causing them pain only makes you worse and them worse. If you can’t do good for this world, then stand still. But you know that you are better than that.
Page 264 of The Nectar of Pain
Gaslighting
It is not their true colors that you suddenly see. Their colors were always there. It is your eyes that colored them with kindness.
Yet their silence somehow convinces you that something is wrong with you.
Page 267 of The Nectar of Pain
Thank you for silencing me
Thank you for silencing me. You led me to break the silence of thousands who have met humans like you who chose not to use their hearts to love, to allow their consciences to be just or their broken past to heal the wounds of the broken. Thank you for loving me only when you needed someone to love you. You led me to understand that in times of our need for love, our hearts are the most beautiful. Thank you for leaving me when I needed you most. You led me to myself. You led me to needing my own heart. You led me to my voice.
Don’t you ever think that I will hate you. You taught me more than any book could ever teach me about love, life, and authenticity with my feelings.
Page 293 of The Nectar of Pain
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